December 26,2013
In Conversation

What is a conversation? It is an exchange of energy – an exchange of feelings, expression and information. It can be healthy or unhealthy. It can be uplifting or draining. It can be positive or negative.

I enjoy positive conversations that are loving, kind, supportive, balanced and uplifting. To me, that means that people in the conversation participate from the heart and share with love, kindness, gratitude and truth. They leave their egos behind and the conversation is balanced. What I mean by that is that there is some sort of equal exchange of energy so that everyone is able to participate equally in the conversation.

Sometimes, when I am in a group, I observe what's going on. How am I feeling? Am I dominating the conversation? Is someone else dominating it? How are they dominating it? Are they controlling and interrogating by firing out questions and not waiting for the answers? Is the conversation all about one person? Is one person doing all the talking and everyone else is listening? Is the atmosphere positive or has the topic waivered from truth and love to fear and gossip?

We are all human and we all have faults. Sometimes our conversations revolve around problems or sadness, but we can keep them healthy. We sometimes need to talk to a trusted friend as we work out a solution to a problem and we may do all the talking or all the listening. But, over time, is it balanced? Do we allow others to participate in the conversation and are we loving and kind? Do we put our egos aside as best we can?

We may encounter someone we haven't seen for a long time, and we want to make the conversation all about them to find out about what's gone on in their lives, or someone has achieved some accomplishment or experienced a change and it is good to hear about it and to give them the opportunity to express their news.

Be observant – am I cutting other people out of a conversation? Am I dominating it? Am I gossiping? Am I complaining or negative? How am I affecting the exchange of energy? Am I uplifting the gathering, or am I bringing it down?

© Carla Weaver 2013


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December 15,2013
A Stressful Time of Year

As we move through the holiday season – Thanksgiving in Canada and the US, Hanukkah, Christmas…it is a stressful time….trying to make plans to include everyone and respect everyone's traditions, travelling, unpredictable weather, extra expenses, gift giving, year-end, celebrations, work, school…could we pack any more into a ten to twelve week period? It is no wonder that we may find ourselves out of balance or stressed at this time of year.

We may also be triggered by the events of past holiday seasons or miss loved ones who are no longer with us to celebrate the holidays.

At this time of year, it is especially important to be vigilant about caring for ourselves. Even though we are busier, we must give priority to "me time." Take the time for your spiritual practice, to have a bubble bath or quiet walk. Read a book. Buy yourself a gift. Have a massage. Don't miss your support group meeting or therapy session. These are the things that help to keep us in balance and yet the first things we may give up when life gets too busy.

Have a serene and peaceful holiday season!

© Carla Weaver 2013


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December 15,2013
Forgiveness and Compassion

"Forgive them for they know not what they do." What a powerful statement that Jesus Christ made when he stated that on the day of his crucifixion.

Truly, people mostly try to do what they think is right or to do the best they can with their current view of the world.

Sadly, many people do not give much thought to their spiritual life or they are limited in their view and cannot see the world clearly or experience the full consequences of their words, thoughts, view and actions. So, they do the best they can with the knowledge and experience they have. Sometimes, the best they can may not be very good at all. It might even be evil.

A friend of mine used to say, "We're all just trying to get through life the best way we know how." When we look at others from this place of love, compassion and understanding, it makes the practice of forgiveness easier. It does not mean that we condone unacceptable behavior or that we are not hurt by others' misdeeds. But it means that we don't take them personally and continue to hurt ourselves by holding a grudge or staying resentful. Instead, we turn it over to a power greater than ourselves "to forgive them for they know not what they do," and we free ourselves to remain loving and compassionate and open to the joys of life. We leave it to God or The Universe to teach them what they need to learn and we free ourselves to learn our own lessons and move along our own paths.

© Carla Weaver 2013


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December 08,2013
Waiting For Inspiration

Earlier this year, I was saddened when my sweet and precious companion of twelve years, Tequila, passed away. He was a terrier cross dog that I rescued from Mexico, and when he was gone, I felt as if some of my purpose was gone. I knew that when I was ready, I would get another pet, but I needed some time to grieve the loss of Tequila.

Last month, I adopted two small dogs, Paco and Butch. They are two years old and one year old, and they are filled with energy. Both are rescue dogs and grateful for a new home.

Butch is full of beans and manages to get into trouble from time to time. He's become a bit of an escape artist. Although I have my balcony, terrace and gate dog proofed with screening, he manages to find a way to go between my balcony and my neighbor's so that he can go and visit her little dog, Maggie.

This morning, as I was sitting drinking my coffee on the balcony, I caught Butch trying to make a social call next door. I jumped up to get him and discovered that this time he had decided to slip through between the wall and the first rod of the iron rail. It's a narrower gap than the previous ones he'd slipped through and this time, he was stuck. His little head was through the other side, but he was stuck and he couldn't fit his body through or pull his head back. What was I to do? My neighbour was out and Butch was stuck. I was on my own.

I took a deep breath, sighed and said a little prayer to ask for help. Then, I knew that if Butch could get his head through that little space, he could get it back out. I spoke to him calmly and softly, and then gently I slipped his head back out of the gap. Here I was trying to have a peaceful start to my day and find inspiration to write my BLOG and the inspiration came from Butch and his antics. Inspiration often comes from necessity and it is best when we are connected to our Source, whether we call that God, The Universe or Intuition.

As I write this, Butch has made a second attempt to go through the narrow space. Dogs and people don't always learn from our mistakes. Butch is now in the house having a "time out" to consider the consequences of his mistakes. Hopefully, he has learned that the narrow space is not the best route to see Maggie, and I have learned that I need to close that gap with a better system.

© Carla Weaver 2013


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December 04,2013
The Spirit of Christmas

On December 1st in my community, the twelve days of La Guadalupe celebration began with the pilgrimages to the church and remembering the vision of Mother Mary, who appeared to Juan Diego in 1531 near Mexico City. She appeared to Juan Diego on four occasions. I find this celebration and these pilgrimages very moving, as the people who participate are filled with love and devotion.

Christmas is a time when we can all focus on the spirit of love and giving and receiving. We can become distracted by all of the marketing and advertising and commercialism at this time of year, but giving does not need to be about shopping and spending. We can give a smile, or a warm hug, handshake or greeting. We can bake cookies for someone or give a card with a loving handwritten message. We can invite someone for a coffee or share our Christmas meal with someone who is alone. We can give a donation to a Christmas charity that provides meals for the homeless, toys for children who might not otherwise receive gifts, or other charities of our choice.

We can also practice receiving by opening our hearts to others to receive their greetings, smiles and hugs with warmth and receptivity. We can practice gratitude for what we have and what we receive at this joyous time of year.

The giving and receiving of love and kindness and connection to Spirit is the true spirit of Christmas, although we often use material gits to symbolize our love and kindness. It is important to remember that the true essence of gift giving is the love and thought behind the gift whether a handsomely wrapped present with a big bow, a card, or a hug.

Season's greetings!

© Carla Weaver 2013


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December 04,2013
We Are All Teachers

People are put in our lives to help us learn the lessons that we need to learn to be better people. We may need to learn patience, tolerance, kindness, forgiveness, love, how to set boundaries, how to take care of ourselves, or a host of other possible lessons. And, until we learn the lessons, new teachers will continue to appear in our lives.

For a period of five to ten years, I was presented with a series of bullies and people whose behavior toward me was abusive and unacceptable. While I also had a lot of good, kind and supportive people in my life at the same time, this was a difficult and painful time for me. It seemed that the bullies got stronger and stronger, and I simply couldn't understand "what I was doing wrong" in my life to continue to attract this series of about six to eight people. I was bullied at work, where I volunteered and in my personal life by these various personalities. Thankfully, I have belonged to a support group for many years and I have many supportive friends and family members who listened to my woes.

I believe that I learned my lessons from these six to eight negative people, but the most important lesson was that I can choose not to have these people in my life. There are always choices, and we can try to tolerate or forgive unacceptable behavior, or we can choose to put our own joy and serenity first, and choose not to have abusive, negative or trouble-making people in our lives.

In my case, I used to think that there was something that I might be doing to cause this negative behavior or that if I could just be a better person, these people would treat me more respectfully. But, along the way, I also learned that we teach people how to treat us. If we allow them to be negative or rude or abusive around us or toward us, then they continue to do it. And, if we don't take action, say in a workplace, and seek support, then we allow these people to continue to abuse us and others. Eventually, I learned that I simply don't need to allow bad behavior in my space. I can say something, leave, quit, go home, not go, move, not participate, take action – whatever is appropriate for the situation. Just as these people are my teachers, I am their teacher. I MUST teach them a better way by demonstrating that unacceptable behavior is unacceptable to me and I do not accept or tolerate it. I have a NO TOLERANCE policy for abuse and bullying.

© Carla Weaver 2013


Posted by Carla Weaver at 08:19 1 Comments
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