December 29,2014
Other People's Drama

How often do we get drawn into another person’s drama by listening, offering advice, or helping to solve their problems? Of course, we want to be supportive of loved ones, family members and dear friends when they are having a tough time, and it is appropriate to listen, be kind, loving and compassionate, and to offer assistance if they ask for it. But, I am talking about the life long drama of complaining, martyrdom or victimhood that goes on for some people in our lives. There are different ways that we get drawn into their dramas. We listen forever, we take it on and try to solve it, we offer advice and become frustrated when they don’t take it, we offer money or physical help to relieve their burden and feel used or frustrated because we are continually helping. All of this “help” simply enables the problem to go on and on and on. The drama is fed because there’s an audience and supporting cast to keep it open.

Another way that we get drawn into another’s drama is by reacting to it. We get tired of the complaining or of being used and it takes up space in our minds when we talk about, think about, or complain about someone else’s drama, or we worry or feel concerned about the situation. Their drama becomes our drama. How do we deal with that?

We need to have awareness, boundaries and self-discipline so that we don’t become distracted from our own path by someone else’s drama. We need to be aware enough that we see what’s happening. There is a verse that talks about walking down the same street and falling in the same hole over and over again until we actually remember that the hole is there and watch for it, so that we can go around it or step over it. That’s what we have to do. We need to recognize the drama and our reaction to it, and then we need to stop enabling it by changing our behavior. How can we recognize the drama? By being in touch with our feelings. When we start to feel tired, tense, bored, impatient, frustrated, angry, drained or feeling that our energy is being sucked out of our solar plexus region, there’s probably some drama taking place. And, if we are worrying and complaining about the complainer then we’ve been drawn in.

We can stop listening by saying something like, “Gee, that seems like quite a situation you have to deal with,” or, “Maybe you should discuss that with [whoever it pertains to] directly,” or “I’d like to offer some assistance, but there’s not much I can do,” and then we can gently change the subject.

And, when the situation starts to take up space in our own minds, we need to remind ourselves that it’s not our drama and focus on our own priorities.

© Dr. Carla Weaver 2014

Posted by Carla Weaver at 09:30 0 Comments
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December 06,2014
The Battle is Over

Have you ever dealt with someone who could suck the creativity out of you like a vampire is said to suck the blood from its victims? Have you ever worked with someone who makes everything you do wrong, or has to one-up everything you do? Have you ever been around a person who has to do everything according to their own rigid schedule and rules? Someone who has blinders on and moves according to their own focused agenda that doesn’t include compromise, cooperation, collaboration or consideration? This type of behavior castrates any creative process, leaves no room for inclusion, new ideas, evolution of ideas and processes or individuality. It simply steam rollers over everything on the way to whatever that person has in mind. This battle or invasion tactic is not one of support or encouragement. While these people get things done, it is not a pleasant, peaceful or satisfying process in which to participate unless you are a passive follower and/or share the same goal and agenda.

For those of us who want to create, evolve, learn, grow, include spirit, consider or collaborate, these people are to be avoided at all costs. They do not support the creativity of themselves or others. As artists, we must build ourselves lives that support our creativity. That means having personal practices that take care of our health and spirit, making a physical space to do our art, making time to do it, surrounding ourselves with people who encourage and support us and our creative processes and practicing our craft using the best supplies and materials that we can. While we may use our art to inform, disturb and convince, our process is a peaceful one and not compatible with battle tactics and terminology.

© Dr. Carla Weaver 2014

Posted by Carla Weaver at 11:25 0 Comments
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December 04,2014
Be Who You Are in Your Heart

Be who you are in your heart. That is the first step in living a creative life because when you are in touch with who you are in your heart, you will express to the world the unique person that you are.

Employers, marketers, governments and groups to which we belong try to influence us to believe in ways that benefit them or make us easier to manage and, to a certain extent, we need to be who we are in our hearts within these group guidelines. For example, we need to obey the law, follow the basic rules of our employment, etc. However, when we become too immersed in group cultures, we can lose our uniqueness, which is at the very heart of our creativity.

This reality becomes a challenge for organizations that wish to be on the leading edge and to inspire creativity within their organizations. How do you build a culture that supports and encourages creativity and innovation? It needs to be a culture that supports letting every individual “be who you are in your heart.” It needs to value each and every member and respect the generation of all ideas, values and principles, even though it may not agree with or act on all of them.

© Dr. Carla Weaver 2014

Posted by Carla Weaver at 08:01 0 Comments
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January, 2018